Legal Humour

 

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Deadly Instructions

A Judge asking to a Lawyer, who represented victim in a Murder case:

Judge: Who has instructed you to represent the victim?

Lawyer: The victim my Lord?

Judge: You mean to say instructions from the dead? What a deadly instruction?

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Rest are rest.

Client to his lawyer :Sir why 10℅ of your hair are black and 90℅ white?

Lawyer:It's 90℅ stress, rest are rest.
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Rising in Bar

Judge to a counsel, who was arguing loudly:Rising you Voice in bar does fetch a win in case. Other wise a Cuckoo could have easily defeated a Hawk. Its your Rising your argument in bar, that matters

#RisingInBar #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
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Difference between a Professor of law and a Lawyer

Professor of law learn the Law to spread it, while a Lawyer earn the Law to bread it.
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Double the time

Judge to a counsel for Appellant:How much time you will take in concluding the argument?

Apellant's counsel:Half an hour my Lord.

Respondent counsel ,on being faced with same question by Judge: Double time my Lord. Half an hour for refuting the argument of Appellant's counsel and half an hour for my subnission.
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ChangingTheLabel

A lawyer, with a mischievous grin, leaned over to his colleague and asked, "So, tell me, why haven't you applied to become a Senior Advocate yet?"

The other lawyer, without missing a beat, replied with a wry smile, "Well, you see, my friend, a mere change in designation doesn't exactly improve the quality of the product."

The first lawyer chuckled, appreciating the wit, and quipped back, "True, true. Just like how slapping a 'premium' label on instant coffee doesn’t make it espresso!"

Ajay Amitabh Suman
IP Adjutor
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Flawlessness

Judge to a Lawyer:You way of argument is almost flawless.

Lawyer: Sir this flawlesness comes from the flaws, I committed in past.
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Rest are rest.

Client to his lawyer :Sir why 10℅ of your hair are black and 90℅ white?

Lawyer:It's 90℅ stress, rest are rest.
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Rising in Bar

Judge to a counsel, who was arguing loudly:Rising you Voice in bar does fetch a win in case. Other wise a Cuckoo could have easily defeated a Hawk. Its your Rising your argument in bar, that matters

#RisingInBar #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
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Difference between a Professor of law and a Lawyer

Professor of law learn the Law to spread it, while a Lawyer earn the Law to bread it.
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Double the time

Judge to a counsel for Appellant:How much time you will take in concluding the argument?

Apellant's counsel:Half an hour my Lord.

Respondent counsel ,on being faced with same question by Judge: Double time my Lord. Half an hour for refuting the argument of Appellant's counsel and half an hour for my subnission.

#DoubleTime #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
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Sipping of argument

Judge on detailed pleading made by a Lawyer:Why to make such a detailed reply. Some enogh space should be left so that your agrument can sip in.
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Reverse Direction

A Lawyer, on not finding case files by his clerk:Why you are unable to find the files? Just See, it is here.

Clerk:Sir, jjst, case names is printed reverse direction.

Lawyer, after reversing the direction of file:Look, name is not printed in reverse direction, in fact file is kept that way.
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A Lawyer, On being asked for showing Bar I card by a police Inspector on the Entry Gate of High Court: You are in police dress and I do not doubt you as police inspector. Similarly you should have faith in me as I am in advocates gown.

Police Inspector: Sir, I am simply discharging my function. My job is to doubt identity of persons, while your job is to doubt the truth projected by your lawyer friend.
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Adjournment Notice

All remaining matters are adjourned because of Hon'ble Judge fell unwell on account of ill argument of Ld. Counsel.

#AdjournmentNotice #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
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Sharp

Judge:Mr.Counsel, please take care. You may hurt yourself. There is sharp corner in Bench.

Lawyer:Thanks my Lord. But also me as to How I can go unhurt from your sharp Queries?

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A Lawyer, Nameless

One Lawyer , while introducing his Lawyer friend: Let me introduce my friend , the name less one.

Other Lawyer:Why do you introduce him as a nameless lawyer.

First Lawyer:Because he is trial Court Lawyer. He works hard and conduct cross examination, but you will Hardly find his reported Judement.

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The Food which Elephant Like

One Lawyer, while taking Launch in Restaurant with his other Lawyer friend:Look at that man. He looks like elephant because he must not be taking Elephant like vegitarian food.

Other friend:But even elephant like vegetarian food does not Ensure a flat tummy.
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A right which is wrong

A Lawyer while defending his client: My Lord, as per the content of complaint, my client has not done any thing which is wrong in the eyes of law.

Judge:Question is this, whether act of your client is right in his eyes or not?
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15 August in Dubai

One Lawyer was asking for more time to file reply on behalf of his client based in Dubai:My Lord please give me more time as my client is based in Dubai and in next week, there would be holiday on account of 15 August.

Judge: Is there going to be Holiday in Dubai too on account of 15 th August.
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Guess

One Lawyer to his another Lawyer friend:You keep on changing your look so frequently. I think you can change every part of your body.

The Other Lawyer: Yes I can, exept one part. Just Guess this.
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Atom Bomb

One Lawyer to his another Lawyer frined:Why do you bow down unneccesarily before the Judge?

The Other Lawyer:You know the chair, he holds, is just enjoy as much power as Atom atom and I do not want be in conflict with a man with power like Atom Bomb in his hand.
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Chair

One Senior Lawyer advising his another Senior Lawyer Friend:Why do you argue with this Judge unneccessarily?

The Other Senior Lawyer:This is becasue this Judge is junior to me, both in age as well as understanding of law.

The First Senior Lawyer:But friend, his chair is much much superior to you.
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No Learner

One Lawyer, on his conflict with a Judge who was his friend earlier:Earlier also I used to explain hin law, now too. But problem is this, now he is no more a learner.
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Pro confusion


One Lawyer discussing about newly appointed Judge: Is is pro plaintiff or pro defendant?

Other Lawyer:He is pro confusion.
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Irritation

Judges:Mr.Counsel, why you are using a language, which irritates me?

Lawyer: MY Lord, I do not mean to irritate you. In fact it is me who is irritated because of conduct of opposite party.

Judge:Please do not identity yourself with irritation of client. Client may change but not the me and you.
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Twenty Minutes Only

Lawyer: My Lord, please hear my matter , I will take only 20 minutes in concluding my argument.

Judge: I know what do you mean by Twenty minutes. For past Five Minutes, you have been asking for time in many ways. Your twenty minutes would be too costly affair for me.
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Zero Size Hair Cut

Lawyer to his friend:Intead of getting Zero size hair cut from 3 side and keeping long hairs in the middle of head, you should have got your hairs cleaned completely.

The Friend: You know, I have kept long hairs in the middle of my head in order to vent out my frustration some time.
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Background

Lawyer:My Lord I am not from Science Background. I need further time to file reply as it is technical one being Patent matter.

Judge:Why it is so. Michael Faraday was not from Science background, still he is known as Scientist.

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Variety

One Lawyer to his Lawyer Friend:Today I look as smart as you.

The Lawyer Friend:But there is different variety in this smartness too.
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Lordless Kingdom

Judge to a Lawyer:Mr.Counsel, why you are so much hesitant in your subnission. After all this is your place, your Kingdom.

Lawyer: Yes my Lord. Kingdom is mine, but I am not the Lord.
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Elephant Move


One Lawyer to another:How do you fing this Judge?

Other Lawyer:Good One.

First Lawyer:This Judge dusmissed your petition yesterday. Still you consider him to be A good Judge?

Other Lawyer:Win or Loss in a case is one thing and being decisive is another one. I like this Judge because like an Elephant he moves in one direction and decides the case .
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Merciful Lord

Judge to a man sitting in Court:How dare you drink water in Court room. Do you think this is a Restaurant?

The Man:No my Lord, I thought this is a courtroom
of My Lord, having merciful heart.
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Oh his legs

Judge to a Junior counsel:
Where is your senior?

Junior Counsel: He is on his legs my lord.

Judge: But he is supposed to be guided by his brain, and not by his legs.

Junior Counsel: My Lord, function of his leg is regulated by his brain. Hence , the natural conclusion, that can be drawn is that, he is on his head.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Option
A Judge , being apologetic to a lawyer;

Judge: Please accept my apology for at times I use harsh language against you.

Lawyer: Do I have any other Option My Lord?

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Balance

One Lawyer: When our time will come? When we will become a big lawyer?

Another Lawyer: Howsoever big you would be, Its not that all person will respect you and it's not that all person shall hate you. Balance would always be there and same balance is here right now.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Conflict

Junior Lawyer to his Senior: Sir I amazed to see that provision is same , but how much conflict of opinion by different Judges.

Senior: It's very simple. Just see , wine is same, but you like it and I donot.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Chalis Hazari Court

A fourth year law intern to first year law intern: I have done my internship from Tis Hazari Court. From where you are planning from?

First year law student: Yes I am planning to do from a bigger Court. Perhaps from Chalis Hazari Court.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Look Like

One Lawyer to another one: You look like Mr. Bhatnagar.

The Other Lawyer: Please do not take his name. My wife knows that Mr. Bhatnagar, at the the age of 60, married second time with his 18 years old intern.

The First Lawyer: Friend , I told you are look like Mr. Bhatnagar and not that you are like him.
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Donot Speak

A Lawyer, on continuos interruption by Opposite Counsel, during his argument:My Lord, it's better I donot speak.

Judge:No, its better you do not speak even this that you donot speak. Because even if you say, I donot speak, the opposite counsel will speak on this too.
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Legal Group

One Lawyer to his friend:I am fed up with unnecessary whatsapp Group message. Let us create a whatsapp Group, meant for sharing Legal message only.

Other Lawyer : Presently Legal, religious and political issues are interconnected. How to decide, which is legal one only?
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Anticipated

On reaching Late in a court hearing, the Patent Attorney to Judge: I am sorry my Lord, I am Late. Can I argue the matter?

Judge: Relief declined, being anticipated.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
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Test

Senior Advocate watching his junior advocate guiding the interns.

Junior Advocate to Interns:
Do not fear of failing in test. I also failed first time when I was put to question by the Judge.

Senior Interrupted :
May I know what was the question Sir?

Junior: About Section 99 of CPC.

Senior : Can you answer right now, what does Section 99 IPC provides for?

Junior replied hesitantly: No , Sir.

Senior: Even I do not know.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
Lord, my Lord

Judge to Lawyer: Why you are so much hesitant in your submission. Be assertive. After all this is your kingdom.

Lawyer: But I am not the Lord, my Lord.
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Loss

One Lawyer to his friend:Sorry friend, you have Lost your case.

The Lawyer Friend:Sorry for what? I have got instruction for filing application.

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Saving Clause

One Lawyer to his lawyer friend:You are lucky. Your client respond so quickly.

The Lawyer Friend:But there is saving clause. When I asked for payment, I get no response.
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Confusion

Lawyer:My Lord, now I am referring 5 Judge Bench Judgement to answer your question conclusively.

Judge:It can not be. More mind, more confusion.

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Knowledge

Judge: I know, what you know.

Lawyer:It can not be. I know that I do not know and this you can not know.
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Inheritence

Junior lawyer inquired about his senior Advocate from Court Clerk:Why he sits late in his office even he is having no work to?

Court Clerk:This is what he has inherited from his Senior's office where he worked for one decade.
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One Lawyer:I always try hard to fight for truth.

Other Lawyer: And what is truth.

First Lawyer: It is 2 PM. This is truth.

Other Lawyer:It is 2 AM for a person living in USA.

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One Lawyer:What is difference between this world and heaven.

The other one. What we call wine in this world, is known as Somrus in heaven.

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Prima Facie

An IPR Lawyer to Registrar General of High Court: "Sir, why are you asking for my Enrollment Number? Isn't my coat and band enough to prove that I'm an Advocate?"

Registrar General smirks: "Your coat and gown are only prima-facie proof that you're a lawyer. I need your Enrollment Number to assure it beyond reasonable doubt.
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Non Serious

Client to his Lawyer: Sir, why you are not preparing seriously for my case.

Lawyer: Because I know this Judge knows every thing and listen nothing.
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Assurance

One Lawyer insisting for opposite counsel's assurance to come on writing.

Judge: Mr. Counsel, why do not you believe the assurance of your Ld. Colleague? After all both of you are known to each other for quite some time.

The Opposite Counsel: Yes My Lord, I insist because he is known to me for quite some time.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Suggestion

A Counsel, while challenging the maintainability of a Petition

Lawyer to Judge: My Lord, I wonder, who suggested my Ld. Friend [The Opposite Counsel] to file this petition?

Judge: Ok then, you suggest your suggestion to your Ld. Friend [the Opposite Counsel]. After all I am not here to suggest any suggestion.

The Opposite Counsel: My Lord has already suggested his suggestion.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Interruption

A Lawyer, when kept on submitting , without listening to question of Judge.

Judge to a Lawyer: Can I have Liberty to say something Sir?

Lawyer: Still kept on making his submission.

Judge to Lawyer: Can I interrupt your interruption Sir? Can I allow your Petition Sir?

Lawyer: I welcome this interruption My Lord.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Article 14

A Husband Lawyer to his wife: There is violation of Article 14 of Constitution of India in your state my Lord.

The Wife to her Lawyer Husband: What do you mean to say?

The Husband Lawyer: Because me and my son are subject to differential treatment.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Reasonable Restriction

Two Lawyer's Friend debating on non legal issue.

While on the verge of being defeated in the argument:

One Lawyer to his friend: Why do not you use your skills inside the court room?

The Friend: Because inside court room, my freedom of speech is subject to reasonable restriction.

The Restriction is The Financial Constraint.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Pass Over

Junior Counsel to judge: Is my Lord going to pass order?

Judge to Junior Counsel: Forget about what I want to to. You tell me what you want me to do.

Junior Counsel to Judge: My Lord, a Pass Over.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Umbrella Trick

On three Consecutive favourable Judgements

Judge to a Lawyer: Congratulations Mr. Counsel for your hat trick.

Lawyer to Judge: Thanks my Lord.

Judge to Lawyer: No enthusiasm in your voice.

Lawyer to Judge: My Lord , that I have kept for bigger one , the Umbrella Trick.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Squarely Applicable

Judge to a Lawyer: How can you say that the Judgement you are relying upon, helps your case?

Lawyer to Judge: Because this Judgement is squarely Applicable to my case.

Judge to Lawyer: Forget about squarely applicable or rectangularly Applicable. Just explain the relevance.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Honest and Concurrent use

Judge to a IPR Lawyer: I am still not convinced of your argument of honest and Concurrent use Mr. Counsel. Can you give any other example of this.

IPR Lawyer to Judge: Twin sisters.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Truth

Judge to a witness: You said on affidavit that you were 40 years old five years ago. How come you say that you are 40 years old even on today?

The Witness to Judge: How can I change my stand, that too said on affidavit. I am simply reiterating the content of my affidavit.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====

Muskura-Hurt

Judge , on the loss of case by a lawyer

Judge to a lawyer: Why you are smiling too much at your loss. Aren't you hurt?

Lawyer to Judge: Yes my lord, I am hurt. That's why there is so much Muskura-Hurt.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Lighter

On Reopening of the Court after vacation

Judge to Lawyer:
Today Board is too light.

Lawyer to Judge:
Yes, My lord has become Lighter too.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Finally Final

Judge to a Lawyer: Last also you requested for last opportunity for argument.

Lawyer: But my lord this time I am asking last time for final opportunity.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Trick

Senior Advocate , on his loss Spoke to his Junior Counsel: How do you tricked the Judge?

Junior Counsel: Sir , I have learnt this trick too from you only.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Exhibit

Judge to Lawyer: What is progress of Mediation Proceeding?

Lawyer: My Lord, the Opposite Party is not honoring it's word.

Judge with a Smile: Why you are not exhibiting the Tongue of Opposite Party?

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
The Laughing Lawyer
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The cost

Judge to a lawyer: Why your clients have not deposited the cost?

Lawyer: My Lord, it is on the way.

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
The Laughing Lawyer
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The Lawyer's Fee

Judge to Advocate: Where is your Senior Counsel?

Advocate: He is no more required in the matter as parties have settled the dispute.

Judge with a Smile: Perhaps your Senior Counsel fee may be the reason.
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Adjournment

Judge to a Junior lawyer: Why your arguing counsel is asking for adjustment?

Junior Lawyer:My Lord, the reason is too personal to disclose in the court room.

Judge: What do you mean by reason being too personal?

Junior Lawyer: Senior counsel is not in position to walk because of fester on his (indicating towards thigh).

Judge: Where it is exactly located?

Junior Lawyer: My Lord can imagine, I can not say in court room ( indicating towards upper area of thigh).

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Bar

Life of a lawyer, spent in bar,

Either they drink (tea) in bar (bar room)

or drink (wine) in bar (bar).

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Lawyer's Leg

Judge to a Junior Lawyer: Where is your arguing counsel?

Junior Counsel: My Lord, he is at his leg in another matter.

Judge: But while arguing , he has to use his mind , and not his leg.

Junior Counsel: My Lord, but function of leg is controlled by mind. Presently his mind is focused on controlling his leg.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Lighter

On Reopening of the Court after vacation

Judge to Lawyer:
Today Board is too light.

Lawyer to Judge:
Yes, My lord has become Lighter too.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Mediation

Client to Lawyer: Sir , taking hard stand in mediation is not working. What to do?

Lawyer: Let me try it softly.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Adjournment

A Counsel, mentioned the matter for Adjournment during launch time, when Hon'ble Judge is about to leave the Court Room.

Lawyer: With your Lord's kind permission, may I reauest?

Judge: No

Lawyer:My Lord I am mentioning the matter for Adjournment.

Judgement: Sir, can I refuse your mentioning?

Lawyer: My Lord kindly me date.

Judge: Sir, please accept my denial.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Due Process of Law

During launch time, a lawyer removed the bag kept on the empty chair and sat on that.

After few time , another lawyer came and asked to the lawyer sitting on the chair.

Lawyer: Sir, why you have removed my bag from the chair. I had reserved the seat my self by keeping my bag there.

The Sitting Lawyer: I am sorry that I dispossessed you. But you can not own a chair by merely keeping your bag this.

The standing lawyer: But sir , you ought to have dispossessed me by following due process of law.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Deadly Instructions

A Judge asking to a Lawyer, who represented victim in a Murder case:

Judge: Who has instructed you to represent the victim?

Lawyer: The victim my Lord?

Judge: You mean to say instructions from the dead? What a deadly instruction?

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Justice

Judge , watching a lawyer , not defending his client in a contempt petition.

Judge: Amazing, why you are not coming forward with any argument to support your client in this contempt proceeding?

Lawyer: Sometime loosing a case is better than losing the justice.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Financial Consideration

A Client, watching his counsel talking to his Opponent's Counsel in a friendly manner.

Client: Inside the Court Room, you fight like enemy to each other. How you can behave like this outside the court room?

Counsel: Because inside court room, financial relationship prevails upon personal relationship, while outside the court room, contrary is true.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
Knowledge

A Lawyer on his animosity with other Lawyer: My problem is not this that he has knowledge, but real problem is that he has this knowledge that I have
knowledge about his knowledge.
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Law Administrator

A Lawyer, after loosing his genuine case on procedural Technicalities: My Lord, this loss is really hurting me as my genuine client has been denied justice.

Judge:We are law administrator and not the Justice administrator.
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Abuse of process

Complainant to Judge:My Lord, accused is wronly pleading non guilty. It is an abuse of process of law. From record, it is apoarent that he cheated me and did not reimburse his loan.

Judge:How much was the loan amount.

Complainant:Forty Five Rupees.

Ajay Amitabh Suman

#AbuseOfProcessl #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
=====
Judgement

Judge to a Lawyer: What is this Mr. Counsel, when ever I put a question, you show one more Judgment? It is better you write another one.

Counsel: My Lord, that is your domain. My domain is to assist you writing new one, after showing the older one.

Ajay Amitabh Suman
======
Imitate and Create

Judge to Inventor: What is difference between you and the infringer of your Patent.

The Inventor: I can create and they can imitate only.

Ajay Amitabh Suman
======
Assurance

One Lawyer insisting for opposite counsel's assurance to come on writing.

Judge: Mr. Counsel, why do not you believe the assurance of your Ld. Colleague? After all both of you are known to each other for quite some time.

The Opposite Counsel: Yes My Lord, I insist because he is known to me for quite some time.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Suggestion

A Counsel, while challenging the maintainability of a Petition

Lawyer to Judge: My Lord, I wonder, who suggested my Ld. Friend [The Opposite Counsel] to file this petition?

Judge: Ok then, you suggest your suggestion to your Ld. Friend [the Opposite Counsel]. After all I am not here to suggest any suggestion.

The Opposite Counsel: My Lord has already suggested his suggestion.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Interruption

A Lawyer, when kept on submitting , without listening to question of Judge.

Judge to a Lawyer: Can I have Liberty to say something Sir?

Lawyer: Still kept on making his submission.

Judge to Lawyer: Can I interrupt your interruption Sir? Can I allow your Petition Sir?

Lawyer: I welcome this interruption My Lord.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Article 14

A Husband Lawyer to his wife: There is violation of Article 14 of Constitution of India in your state my Lord.

The Wife to her Lawyer Husband: What do you mean to say?

The Husband Lawyer: Because me and my son are subject to differential treatment.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Reasonable Restriction

Two Lawyer's Friend debating on non legal issue.

While on the verge of being defeated in the argument:

One Lawyer to his friend: Why do not you use your skills inside the court room?

The Friend: Because inside court room, my freedom of speech is subject to reasonable restriction.

The Restriction is The Financial Constraint.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Pass Over

Junior Counsel to judge: Is my Lord going to pass order?

Judge to Junior Counsel: Forget about what I want to to. You tell me what you want me to do.

Junior Counsel to Judge: My Lord, a Pass Over.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Umbrella Trick

On three Consecutive favourable Judgements

Judge to a Lawyer: Congratulations Mr. Counsel for your hat trick.

Lawyer to Judge: Thanks my Lord.

Judge to Lawyer: No enthusiasm in your voice.

Lawyer to Judge: My Lord , that I have kept for bigger one , the Umbrella Trick.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Squarely Applicable

Judge to a Lawyer: How can you say that the Judgement you are relying upon, helps your case?

Lawyer to Judge: Because this Judgement is squarely Applicable to my case.

Judge to Lawyer: Forget about squarely applicable or rectangularly Applicable. Just explain the relevance.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Honest and Concurrent use

Judge to a IPR Lawyer: I am still not convinced of your argument of honest and Concurrent use Mr. Counsel. Can you give any other example of this.

IPR Lawyer to Judge: Twin sisters.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Truth

Judge to a witness: You said on affidavit that you were 40 years old five years ago. How come you say that you are 40 years old even on today?

The Witness to Judge: How can I change my stand, that too said on affidavit. I am simply reiterating the content of my affidavit.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====

Muskura-Hurt

Judge , on the loss of case by a lawyer

Judge to a lawyer: Why you are smiling too much at your loss. Aren't you hurt?

Lawyer to Judge: Yes my lord, I am hurt. That's why there is so much Muskura-Hurt.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Lighter

On Reopening of the Court after vacation

Judge to Lawyer:
Today Board is too light.

Lawyer to Judge:
Yes, My lord has become Lighter too.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Finally Final

Judge to a Lawyer: Last also you requested for last opportunity for argument.

Lawyer: But my lord this time I am asking last time for final opportunity.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Trick

Senior Advocate , on his loss Spoke to his Junior Counsel: How do you tricked the Judge?

Junior Counsel: Sir , I have learnt this trick too from you only.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
The Exhibit

Judge to Lawyer: What is progress of Mediation Proceeding?

Lawyer: My Lord, the Opposite Party is not honoring it's word.

Judge with a Smile: Why you are not exhibiting the Tongue of Opposite Party?

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
The Laughing Lawyer
=====
The cost

Judge to a lawyer: Why your clients have not deposited the cost?

Lawyer: My Lord, it is on the way.

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
The Laughing Lawyer
=====
Eighth Wonder

[A Law Student to an IPR Lawyer]
Sir, what's eighth wonder in IPR World?

[IPR Lawyer Responded]
A Trademark Infringer always thinks that his right to carry on business is infringed whenever he's sued for trademark infringement.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#EighthWonder #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #FunnyLawyer #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
========
Article 14

Husband to wife: I am noticing violation to Article 14 of Constitution of India in our house.

Wife: How can you say that?

Husband: Me and my son are subject to your differential treatment.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#Article 14 #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #FunnyLawyer #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
=====
Power and Capacity

A Trade Mark lawyer was arguing on behalf of a client who was manufacturer of extremely costly pen.

Lawyer and Judge: My Lord kindly see, how much costly is my client's pen. This should not be allowed to be diluted by pirates.

Judge replied, while looking at pen in his pocket: Yes I know. I have power to restrain the pirates, but not have capacity is purchase the original one.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#PowerAndCapacity #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #FunnyLawyer #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
========
Finally Final

Judge : Mr Counsel , last time also you requested for final opportunity. This time again you are asking for adjournment?

Lawyer: My Lord, this time , it's finally final.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#FinallyFinal #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #FunnyLawyer #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
=====
Anticipated

On reaching Late in a court hearing, the Patent Attorney to Judge: I am sorry my Lord, I am Late. Can I argue the matter?

Judge: Relief declined, being anticipated.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#Anticipated #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #FunnyLawyer #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
=====
Test

Senior Advocate watching his junior advocate guiding the interns.

Junior Advocate to Interns:
Do not fear of failing in test. I also failed first time when I was put to question by the Judge.

Senior Interrupted :
May I know what was the question Sir?

Junior: About Section 99 of CPC.

Senior : Can you answer right now, what does Section 99 IPC provides for?

Junior replied hesitantly: No , Sir.

Senior: Even I do not know.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Disagreement

A Judge, watching a lawyer advancing his case as per oral instructions given by the client in court.

Judge: Mr. Counsel , I am amazed at your agreement with your client.

Lawyer: Since he has disagreed to agree with me, I have no choice, but to disagree with my disagreement.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman

#Disagreement #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes#LawyerAndJudgesJokes #LawyersFun #TheLaughingLawyer #AdvAjayAmitabhSuman
Admission-Denial

Judge to Junior Counsel: I know you have right to admit or deny the documents on record. But how can you can deny India Gate?

Junior Counsel: My Lord, India Gate has not been built by my client.

#AdmissionDenial #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman
=====

The Lawyer's Fee

Judge to Advocate: Where is your Senior Counsel?

Advocate: He is no more required in the matter as parties have settled the dispute.

Judge with a Smile: Perhaps your Senior Counsel fee may be the reason.
=====
Adjournment

Judge to a Junior lawyer: Why your arguing counsel is asking for adjustment?

Junior Lawyer:My Lord, the reason is too personal to disclose in the court room.

Judge: What do you mean by reason being too personal?

Junior Lawyer: Senior counsel is not in position to walk because of fester on his (indicating towards thigh).

Judge: Where it is exactly located?

Junior Lawyer: My Lord can imagine, I can not say in court room ( indicating towards upper area of thigh).

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Bar

Life of a lawyer, spent in bar,

Either they drink (tea) in bar (bar room)

or drink (wine) in bar (bar).

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Lawyer's Leg

Judge to a Junior Lawyer: Where is your arguing counsel?

Junior Counsel: My Lord, he is at his leg in another matter.

Judge: But while arguing , he has to use his mind , and not his leg.

Junior Counsel: My Lord, but function of leg is controlled by mind. Presently his mind is focused on controlling his leg.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Lighter

On Reopening of the Court after vacation

Judge to Lawyer:
Today Board is too light.

Lawyer to Judge:
Yes, My lord has become Lighter too.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Mediation

Client to Lawyer: Sir , taking hard stand in mediation is not working. What to do?

Lawyer: Let me try it softly.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
====
Adjournment

A Counsel, mentioned the matter for Adjournment during launch time, when Hon'ble Judge is about to leave the Court Room.

Lawyer: With your Lord's kind permission, may I reauest?

Judge: No

Lawyer:My Lord I am mentioning the matter for Adjournment.

Judgement: Sir, can I refuse your mentioning?

Lawyer: My Lord kindly me date.

Judge: Sir, please accept my denial.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Due Process of Law

During launch time, a lawyer removed the bag kept on the empty chair and sat on that.

After few time , another lawyer came and asked to the lawyer sitting on the chair.

Lawyer: Sir, why you have removed my bag from the chair. I had reserved the seat my self by keeping my bag there.

The Sitting Lawyer: I am sorry that I dispossessed you. But you can not own a chair by merely keeping your bag this.

The standing lawyer: But sir , you ought to have dispossessed me by following due process of law.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Deadly Instructions

A Judge asking to a Lawyer, who represented victim in a Murder case:

Judge: Who has instructed you to represent the victim?

Lawyer: The victim my Lord?

Judge: You mean to say instructions from the dead? What a deadly instruction?

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Justice

Judge , watching a lawyer , not defending his client in a contempt petition.

Judge: Amazing, why you are not coming forward with any argument to support your client in this contempt proceeding?

Lawyer: Sometime loosing a case is better than losing the justice.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Financial Consideration

A Client, watching his counsel talking to his Opponent's Counsel in a friendly manner.

Client: Inside the Court Room, you fight like enemy to each other. How you can behave like this outside the court room?

Counsel: Because inside court room, financial relationship prevails upon personal relationship, while outside the court room, contrary is true.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Oh his legs

Judge to a Junior counsel:
Where is your senior?

Junior Counsel: He is on his legs my lord.

Judge: But he is supposed to be guided by his brain, and not by his legs.

Junior Counsel: My Lord, function of his leg is regulated by his brain. Hence , the natural conclusion, that can be drawn is that, he is on his head.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Option
A Judge , being apologetic to a lawyer;

Judge: Please accept my apology for at times I use harsh language against you.

Lawyer: Do I have any other Option My Lord?

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Balance

One Lawyer: When our time will come? When we will become a big lawyer?

Another Lawyer: Howsoever big you would be, Its not that all person will respect you and it's not that all person shall hate you. Balance would always be there and same balance is here right now.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Conflict

Junior Lawyer to his Senior: Sir I amazed to see that provision is same , but how much conflict of opinion by different Judges.

Senior: It's very simple. Just see , wine is same, but you like it and I donot.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Chalis Hazari Court

A fourth year law intern to first year law intern: I have done my internship from Tis Hazari Court. From where you are planning from?

First year law student: Yes I am planning to do from a bigger Court. Perhaps from Chalis Hazari Court.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
=====
Lighter

On Reopening of the Court after vacation

Judge to Lawyer:
Today Board is too light.

Lawyer to Judge:
Yes, My lord has become Lighter too.

Advocate
Ajay Amitabh Suman

Lighter #Legaljokes #Funnyquote #Courtroomfun #Courtroomjokes #lawyer #Humour #laughter #Jokes #Lawyerjokes

Finally Final

Judge to a Lawyer: Last also you requested for last opportunity for argument.

Lawyer: But my lord this time I am asking last time for final opportunity.


The Trick

Senior Advocate , on his loss Spoke to his Junior Counsel: How do you tricked the Judge?

Junior Counsel: Sir , I have learnt this trick too from you only.


The Exhibit

Judge to Lawyer: What is progress of Mediation Proceeding?

Lawyer: My Lord, the Opposite Party is not honoring it's word.

Judge with a Smile: Why you are not exhibiting the Tongue of Opposite Party?

Where is the cost

Judge to a lawyer: Why your clients have not deposited the cost?

Lawyer:My Lord, it is on the way.

The Lawyer's Fee

Judge to Advocate: Where is your Senior Counsel?

Advocate: He is no more required in the matter as parties have settled the dispute.

Judge with a Smile: Perhaps your Senior Counsel fee may be the reason.

Too Personal

Judge to a Junior lawyer: Why your arguing counsel is asking for adjustment?

Junior Lawyer:My Lord, the reason is too personal to disclose in the court room.

Judge: What do you mean by reason being too personal?

Junior Lawyer: Senior counsel is not in position to walk because of fester on his (indicating towards thigh).

Judge: Where it is exactly located?

Junior Lawyer: My Lord can imagine, I can not say in court room ( indicating towards upper area of thigh).

Lawyer's Life

Life of a lawyer, spent in bar,

Either they drink (tea) in bar (bar room)

or drink (wine) in bar (bar).

Lawyer's Leg

Judge to a Junior Lawyer: Where is your arguing counsel?

Junior Counsel: My Lord, he is at his leg in another matter.

Judge: But while arguing , he has to use his mind , and not his leg.

Junior Counsel: My Lord, but function of leg is controlled by mind. Presently his mind is focused on controlling his leg.

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
Mob:9990389539

The Argument #Legaljokes #Funnyquote #Courtroomfun #Courtroomjokes #lawyer #Humour #laughter #Jokes #Lawyerjokes
=====
Muskura-hurt

On loss of Case

Judge to Lawyer: Why you smiling so much at the loss of your case. Are you not hurt?

Lawyer to Judge: Yes My lord , I am hurt, but little bit differently. It's Muskura-hurt.

Advocate
Ajay Amitabh Suman

Muskura-hurt #Legaljokes #Funnyquote #Courtroomfun #Courtroomjokes #lawyer #Humour #laughter #Jokes #Lawyerjokes
=====

Flawlessness

As the lawyer wrapped up his argument, the judge leaned forward, with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Judge: "Counsel, I must say, your way of argument is almost flawless."

The courtroom went silent, all eyes on the lawyer. Instead of a humble "thank you," the lawyer, with a twinkle in his eye, responded:

Lawyer: "Thank you, Your Honor. But this flawlessness, you see, comes from all the flaws I’ve committed in the past."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, with even the judge chuckling at the clever retort.

Judge: "Well, I suppose you've learned well from your mistakes, then. Let's just hope your client doesn't have to pay for them today!"

Legal Anecdotes by
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
Thank you
=====
Finally Final

Judge: raising an eyebrow "Mr. Counsel, if I recall correctly, you requested a 'final opportunity' last time also. Yet, again you are asking for another adjournment?"

Lawyer: with a slight bow and a sheepish smile "Indeed, My Lord. But this time, I assure you, it's finally... finally final!"

Judge: leaning back in his chair with a smirk "Counsel, your definition of 'final' seems to be as flexible as your Fee schedule."

Legal Anecdotes by
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman
Thank you

#FinallyFinal #LegalAnecdotes #LegalHumour #LegalJokes #LawyersJokes #CourtRoomJokes #LegalFun #AdvocatesJokes #LawyerLife #LawyerAndJudge #AdvocateAjayAmitabhSuman

Two lawyers, Mr. A and Mr. B, are fiercely arguing in front of the judge. Voices raised, gestures dramatic, and the tension is thick in the courtroom.

Judge (interrupting, with a grin):

"Counselors, it looks like you two are fighting like a pair of cats and dogs! Have either of you tried just sitting down together for a cup of tea?"

Mr. A (pointing to the other lawyer):

"Your Lordship, that won't work! I prefer a strong cup of coffee."

Mr. B (smirking):

"And I, my Lord, wouldn’t dream of anything but a refreshing cup of tea."

Judge (with a chuckle):

"Ah, I see. So this isn’t just a legal battle, it’s a beverage war!"

Mr. A (crossing his arms):

"Exactly, my Lord. You see, his tea is too weak to keep me awake."

Mr. B (retorting):

"And his coffee is so bitter it could be submitted as evidence of cruelty!"

Judge (laughing):

"Well, gentlemen, I suggest we all stick to water for the rest of this case—at least until the two of you learn to mix your brews better!"

Strong case

Judge: "Counsel, you may proceed with your request."

Newly Engaged Lawyer: "My Lord, I seek an adjournment. I just got engaged... to this case, I mean!"

Opposing Counsel (vehemently objecting): "My Lord, my Learned Friend is the third lawyer engaged by the opposite party. It seems they change lawyers more often than I change my ties! I, on the other hand, have been the sole warrior in this battle since time immemorial!"

Judge (raising an eyebrow): "Hmm… And yet, here we are, still battling it out?"

Opposing Counsel (confidently): "Exactly, My Lord! The opposite party has no case at all! None! Zilch! They’re just playing musical chairs with their lawyers, hoping one of them magically discovers a case for them!"

Judge (chuckling): "Interesting. If they have no case, what exactly have you been doing for so long?"

=======

Mediation

 A Mediation Room – A lawyer and his client sit across from the opposing party and their lawyer. The mediator watches patiently.)

Client (whispering to his lawyer, looking frustrated): "Sir, taking a hard stand in mediation isn’t working. The other side just isn’t budging! What do we do now?"

Lawyer (cracking his knuckles): "Hmm… Let me try it softly."

(Clears throat, leans forward, and smiles politely at the opposing party.)

Lawyer (in an overly sweet voice): "Dear respected opposition, would you kindly consider our proposal? After all, we’re all friends here, aren’t we?"

Opposing Counsel (raising an eyebrow): "Friends? Last week, you called my client a 'financial black hole' in court!"

Lawyer (still smiling but with clenched teeth): "Oh, that? A slight exaggeration, just legal poetry, really!"

Client (muttering): "This is going nowhere..."

Lawyer (now switching to an emotional approach): "Look, we could fight this case for years, but wouldn’t it be beautiful if we just… hugged it out?"

(Mediator looks intrigued. Opposing party looks confused.)

Opposing Party: "Uh… are you seriously suggesting a group hug?"

Lawyer (leaning in, whispering dramatically): "No… I’m suggesting settlement! But in the spirit of harmony, you know? Less anger, more… agreement?"

Opposing Counsel (smirking): "Nice try, but we still reject your proposal."

Lawyer (leaning back, sighing): "Alright, back to the hard stand. I tried softness—it lasted a whole 30 seconds!"

Client (facepalming): "I should’ve just hired a therapist instead."

(Mediator shakes their head while everyone else laughs.)

Adjournment Request

(Scene: A busy courtroom. It’s lunchtime, and the Hon’ble Judge is rising from his seat, eagerly looking at the clock. Just as he’s about to leave, a lawyer rushes forward.)

Lawyer (hastily): "With Your Lordship’s kind permission, may I request—"

Judge (cutting him off, already halfway to the door): "No."

Lawyer (not giving up): "My Lord, I am mentioning a matter for adjournment!"

Judge (sighing, turning back slightly): "Sir, can I refuse your mentioning?"

Lawyer (pleading): "My Lord, kindly give me a date."

Judge (waving his hand dismissively): "Sir, please accept my denial."

Lawyer (dramatically): "But My Lord, justice delayed is justice denied!"

Judge (raising an eyebrow): "Sir, lunch delayed is lunch denied."

(Courtroom erupts in laughter. The judge exits swiftly. Lawyer stands there, looking defeated but impressed by the judge’s quick wit.)

Due Process of Law

During launch time, a lawyer removed the bag kept on the empty chair and sat on that.

After few time , another lawyer came and asked to the lawyer sitting on the chair.

Lawyer: Sir, why you have removed my bag from the chair. I had reserved the seat my self by keeping my bag there.

The Sitting Lawyer: I am sorry that I dispossessed you. But you can not own a chair by merely keeping your bag this.

The standing lawyer: But sir , you ought to have dispossessed me by following due process of law.

The Laughing Lawyer
Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman