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8.Bill Vs Pill

Patient: Doctor, my lawyer’s bill gave me a heart attack.

Doctor: Then you’re in the wrong clinic — My Pills may fix your heart, not  lawyer’s bill.

Lawfing Tales of Law, Lawyer and Litigation

Respectfully Ridiculous and Lawfingly submitted

By The Lawfing Lawyer

Advocate Ajay Amitabh Suman,

Patent and Trademark Attorney 

High Court of Delhi

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7.Great Vs Greater

One Lawyer: What’s on the cause list today?

Another Lawyer: I have one case to argue.

First Lawyer: That’s great.

Second Lawyer: And you?

First Lawyer: My matter got settled. I just have to collect the decreetal amount.

Second Lawyer: (Eyes widening) Ohhh… that’s not great. That’s greater.

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6.Wait Vs Late

Office Clerk: Bhai, you’re dripping wet. Go change!

Running Clerk: Can’t! If I’m late, boss will file an FIR on me before this file hits the table! 

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5.Profession Vs concession 

One Law Clerk: Sir, this client is showering the legal profession with so much respect today!

Another Clerk: Perhaps he is expecting concession in lawyers fee .

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4.Suppression Vs Instruction

Lawyer: My Lord, the other side has “forgotten” to mention they’ve sued my client in the Bombay High Court.

Opposite Lawyer: No suppression, My Lord. That case has nothing to do with this one.

Judge: Then what is that Mumbai case about?

Opposite Lawyer: My Lord, I’ll need instructions.

First Lawyer: I’ll also take instructions, My Lord.

Judge (smiling): Are you both planning to attend that Mumbai case too?

Both Lawyers: Only after we get instructions, My Lord!

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3.Real Meaning Vs Different Meaning

Lawyer 1 (raising his glass): “This provision has unlimited scope for interpretation… but don’t worry, I’ve cracked its real meaning.”

Lawyer 2 (smirking): “That’s fine, my friend. Let’s just hope the judge doesn’t crack a different meaning tomorrow morning.

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2.Stress Vs De-Stress

A lawyer at the High Court ice cream canteen,

“Please give me one ice cream. I need it to de-stress.”

The Ice Cream  shopkeeper, “Sir, please think twice about stress—I run an ice cream shop and I’m diabetic.”

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1.Body Builder Vs Case Builder

Lawyer 1: “How are you, Mr. Body Builder?”

Lawyer 2: “Fit and fine! And you, Mr. Case Builder?”

Lawyer 1: “Stronger—because cases have more muscle than biceps.”

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