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38.Argument Vs Shouting
1.Judge: “If your case is clear is so clear, then instead of arguing , why are you shouting?”
2.Lawyer: “To make it audible.”
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37.Raising the point Vs Raising the voice
"1.Client:Why few lawyers make loud argument?Does raising a voice fetch better result.
2.Lawyer:No , perhaps they donot have legal point to raise."
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36. Conviction Vs Confusion
"1.Inspector: “We have circumstantial evidence.”
2.Lawyer: “Perfect.”
3.Inspector: “Perfect for conviction?”
4.Lawyer: “No, perfect enough for creating confusion in the mind of Judge."
===
35.Contempt of Court Vs Contempt of Staff
"1.Client: “Your senior speaks so politely in court.”
2.Junior Lawyer: “That’s because contempt of court is punishable. Contempt of staff is not.”
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34.Junior Vs Senior
"1.Junior Lawyer: “When does a Junior lawyer become senior?”
2.Lawyer Clerk Lawyer: “When juniors start carrying his tension.”
====
33.Imagine Vs Imagination
"1.Lawyer: I can imagine what you can imagine.
2.Witness: Sir, how can you imagine what I can imagine when even I haven’t imagined what I can imagine?"
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Long Tongue Vs Short Height
"1.News Anchor: Sir, your tongue seems a bit too long.
2.Advocate:What to do? God kept me short in height, so I compensate it by keeping my tongue sharp,long and tight."
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32.Hotness of Weather Vs Hotness of Money
"1.First lawyer: “Hey brother, the chamber is really hot. Turn on the AC!”
2.Second lawyer: “There’s no money coming in… so where’s the ‘heat’ supposed to come from?”
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31.Mind Vs Wine"
"1.First Lawyer: What happens after two pegs of Wine?
2.Second Lawyer: The mind grants bail. The liver files objections."
30. Pass Over Vs Without Pass Over
"1.One Lawyer: So, one pass-over and the matter won't reach?
2.Another Lawyer: My friend, in this court, some matters don't reach even when they're standing in the front row."
"Junior Lawyer: Sir, I lose confidence when the judge bombards me with questions.
Senior Lawyer: Young man, don't panic! A judge's questions are not bullets—they are clues. If the judge is asking questions, the case is still alive. Worry only when the judge starts writing the order while you're speaking!"
1.First Lawyer:So you’ve gone completely digital for court arguments? Very Modern.
2.Second Lawyer: I carry the tab like a modern lawyer, but when it comes to using it smoothly, I’m still a medieval one. Having a horse and riding it are two different things.
1.First Lawyer: Brother, why have you turned Pitamber during lunch break?
2.Second Lawyer: Courtesy of the generous haldi wali dal in the bar canteen. Otherwise, till this morning I was a respectable Shwetamber , pure, white, and unstained by Haldi Dal justice.
=====
"1.Judge: “Mr. Counsel, please do not move so fast, you may have the magic stick of Harry Potter, but I don’”
2.Lawyer: “No magic, My Lord, just a logic stick, though it sometimes needs more than ten minutes to cast its spell!”
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1.Young Lawyer: Sir, you’ve been doing mediation since such a young age, right from when you entered the legal profession. How has the journey been so far?
2.Senior Lawyer: In my younger days, I did meditation to meet God.Now I do meditation to avoid meeting Him and seek adjournment at least for another 30–40 years.
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2.Second Lawyer : Relax. Our job is to argue perfectly, not to find perfection.After that, the judge will apply the law, perfectly, imperfectly, or creatively , depending on lunch, mood, and coffee.
1.One lawyer, “Remember those golden days we enjoyed together during student life, before our wives entered in life and repossessed all the gold?”
2.The other one, “Yes, and thanks to our golden wives, whom we’ve responsibly left them at home, we finally get to relive those ‘golden’ days again.
One Lawyer: I am not positive in arguing this point.
Another Lawyer:Our Job is to argue.It is judge's call to take it as positively or negatively.
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