Mediation

 A Mediation Room – A lawyer and his client sit across from the opposing party and their lawyer. The mediator watches patiently.)

Client (whispering to his lawyer, looking frustrated): "Sir, taking a hard stand in mediation isn’t working. The other side just isn’t budging! What do we do now?"

Lawyer (cracking his knuckles): "Hmm… Let me try it softly."

(Clears throat, leans forward, and smiles politely at the opposing party.)

Lawyer (in an overly sweet voice): "Dear respected opposition, would you kindly consider our proposal? After all, we’re all friends here, aren’t we?"

Opposing Counsel (raising an eyebrow): "Friends? Last week, you called my client a 'financial black hole' in court!"

Lawyer (still smiling but with clenched teeth): "Oh, that? A slight exaggeration, just legal poetry, really!"

Client (muttering): "This is going nowhere..."

Lawyer (now switching to an emotional approach): "Look, we could fight this case for years, but wouldn’t it be beautiful if we just… hugged it out?"

(Mediator looks intrigued. Opposing party looks confused.)

Opposing Party: "Uh… are you seriously suggesting a group hug?"

Lawyer (leaning in, whispering dramatically): "No… I’m suggesting settlement! But in the spirit of harmony, you know? Less anger, more… agreement?"

Opposing Counsel (smirking): "Nice try, but we still reject your proposal."

Lawyer (leaning back, sighing): "Alright, back to the hard stand. I tried softness—it lasted a whole 30 seconds!"

Client (facepalming): "I should’ve just hired a therapist instead."

(Mediator shakes their head while everyone else laughs.)